SAP-008-HA: Sir Monty Syndrome
Item#: SAP-008-HA
Date of Report: 9/5/2016
DANGER Level: Yellow
Divergent Class: [3%C, 5%D, 0.3%P]
Description: SAP-008-HA is the concept phenomena that when you show no signs of life, or avoid people for too long, people will begin to assume false identity on you, and make up their own personality for you. This anomaly originated in a community Discord server1 (which for privacy reasons will not be specified), when user @SirMonty joined the server, but was offline for an extensive period of time. During this time, people of the server would often see Monty as an observer; someone who watched instead of talking, when instead of that, Monty was a very different person.
Not much is known about why or how this happens, but if anyone is to learn the cause of this anomaly, it should be documented and sent to the Site Director.
Aftermath Protocols: Given the nature of SAP-008-HA, it is not possible to apply management protocols at present to counteract its harmful effects on the minds of affected subjects. Currently, SAP-008-HA has been seen on few occasions and has only been seen acting for a limited time in a small number of individuals. Part of the protocols to be taken should consist of denying the ideas that SAP-008-HA forms in the collective mind and seek to ensure that the main subject who is a carrier of SAP-008-HA shows signs of activity so that the effects of the anomaly are cancelled out.
SAP-008-HA is not to be believed.
Discovery: Sir Monty Syndrome was discovered when a member of the Repository joined an online community, the Discord server mentioned earlier. The member started being chronically online for days. Eventually, a new member was invited to the Discord server. Although the owner was frightened at first because of their rule that people on the server must be a member of their wiki too, the owner decided to let them stay. Days went by, and Monty said nothing. People started assuming Sir Monty was introverted, and didn’t want to talk.
What had actually happened was that Monty was on a world tour for his band, Sad Muffins, and didn’t know about the events occurring on the server. On his world tour, he claims to have done the following things:
- Raise awareness of his songs, many of which are now national hits.
- Meet the president of Nigeria, who gave him 12 awards for his heroic actions.
- He also claims to have become Governor of Avalon, a magical island from Arthurian legend.
SAP-021-HA: The Sad Death Of Agent Key
Item#: SAP-021-HA
Date of Report: 4/7/1989
DANGER Level: Black
Divergent Class: [8%C, 4%D, 3%P]
Description: SAP-021 is a virus that spreads through exposure of your nose. People are advised to use cloth, masks, or anything else they can find that can prevent the virus from entering. In public, a person should stand 7 meters apart from all other people in the area. Only people with jeans have gotten the virus. People with the virus, at the exact same time, as a hive mind, will unzip their jeans. They will proceed to stick their fingers in the unzipped area and pull up fast, completely cutting off their finger. They will then bleed to death.
The Repository currently has one body in study. The deceased man’s full name is unmentioned for confidential reasons, so we’ll just call them Agent Key. Agent Key was putting on the pants that go with their work uniform, when they suddenly were compelled to put their finger in the unzipped area and zip upwards quickly. They did, and their finger was greatly severed. Agent Key proceeded to bleed to death.
The Repository is currently working on a vaccine for the virus, in case it is to ever start up again. The vaccine will be stored in a vault which will be heavily guarded and only supplied under a government’s paid request. If a government is to request the vaccine be supplied to them, then the Repository will consider the amount of money they are planning to give and how much their currency is worth in euros. If the Repository considers the money of not enough quantity, we will deny their request.
Aftermath Protocols: The virus is to be contained in collaboration with Division of Viral Diseases (DVD) in a room at Site 12. The virus is contained in a living host, whose pants where swapped out with sweatpants (which they said were much more comfortable).
Discovery: SAP-021 was first detected in Villapene, Lugo, Galicia around the early 2000s. It is currently unknown how SAP-021 originated in the area, this being an apparent point of origin of the anomaly. According to records, SAP-021 spread rapidly in the area and infected 45% of the local population, mainly male individuals or scarecrows wearing khakis. SAP-021 remained temporarily dormant until its sudden activation, resulting in the amputation of many fingers in the area and the deaths of multiple individuals.
Factors have been noted that are repeated among the victims of SAP-021, the main ones being the following:
- Those between 16 and 29 years of age.
- People who wear yellow clothes.
- Goats.
- Potentially racially sensitive ornithophobic scarecrow.
- Frequent speaker manipulators. It is suspected that the sound that the virus causes tampered speakers to make triggers a kind of growth or hibernation in the virus, allowing it to spread slowly until it comes into contact with an individual that it can infect.
Visual record of Agent Key during his infection of SAP-021
SAP-069-HA: Nice!
Item#: Nice!
Date of Report: Nice!/Nice!/Nice!
DANGER Level: Nice!
Divergent Class: [Nice!%Nice!, Nice!%Nice!, Nice!%Nice!]
Description: Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice!
Aftermath Protocols: Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice!
Discovery: Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice! Nice!
